Joe Coleman Demands Prime Minister Take Action on HURTED

Joe Coleman Calls for End of Lockout: For the Children’s Sake
19 Jan 05
Winnipeg – Joey Coleman called today for the NHL lockout to end. “Our children are suffering.” Stated Joey “They are unable to enjoy Saturday nights watching the Maple Leafs winning games.” Said one of the children: “We are very venerable to propaganda right now, there is this teacher, (name removed for his own protection) who keeps telling us that the Canadians are the best hockey team. Our Prinicipal [A Maple Leafs Addict] is just not himself, he is really suffering and we are worried about him. Normally, he tells us that Mr. (name removed) is wrong about the Canadians and that he has drank too much of that beer.” Local soccer fanatics are taking advantage of this situation to pray on our children. As one of their flyers stated: “It is just like hockey. Two nets, the team that scores the most wins. The only difference is the use of feet to move the ball which is used instead of a puck. Plus, you will not have to watch your father weep on Saturday nights.”
Canadians need to start calling on local MP’s and the Prime Minister to do something for the sake of the children and our country. Early studies are showing the Hockey UberSeason Removal Effective Trauma Disorder (HURTED) is worse for even one Canadian than all the cases of Seasonal Effective Disorder in Canada combined.
We have an entire generation of Canadians that are already scarred for life from HURTED, and it is only going to get worse if the Prime Minister does not do something.
If the Prime Minister is not willing to act on this important matter, it is finally time for Sheila Copps to become Prime Minister, at least she is willing to stop split-run seasons.
Joey Coleman